Just Regret~~

Whenever you saw me posting here, means there is something went wrong. Truly feel tired with what life I am having now. It doesn't match with the life I thought before, totally.

2 years ago:
I was thinking that I will be able to finish my AS course safely, even with flying colors.

1 years ago:

I was still thinking that I will be able to finish

my AS course safely, maybe not with flying colors.

Few months ago:

I was thinking that I will improve my result by studying harder than before.

Things happen until few days ago:

When i heard my friend (who is my ex course mate as well) said that she got 3 Dean List for 3 trimester continuously after she changed her course. I am so envy that my friend changed her course at the right time. While I am still continue with my Actuarial Science.

Seriously, i think more after that night. Although it should be a great day when celebrating my friends birthday on the Thursday night, yet a sudden feeling of sad, emo....

• I never believe that I will got such a worse result in AS course
• I was thinking i might get better result if i change my course as well
• Why will I stupidly choose Actuarial Science
• Why not i take Accounting, which is my best scored subject
• Am I really stupid
• Why everything just doesn't went smoothly

Things become more serious during the Friday night, I was inside the car with 2 engineering students. Their conversation is just talking about test and past year questions. I have no choice but listening to their conversation...

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A: ..........the first question is very easy!

B: Yes, it is exactly same as pass year question.......... (it is just small test, they have done pass year question)

A: ..........the answer for the question is 2.173 (i don't even memorize what is my ans)

B: ..........when "C" said his answer is 20.123, i knew where he did wrong edy.....

A: ..........It is consider easy overall....

B: ..........I have much time left to check....
A: I have done it at the very beginning, plenty of time..........(Since when, i keep run out of time to finish my paper)

A: ........fjdhvbfyuvb...........
B: ........rfhjwgvyebfcuisd........

[The whole conversation is just about "HOW EASY IS THE TEST"~]

==========================================================

I was so stress being inside that car, I was force to listen to it and comparing with my worse result.... You have no idea how stress am I! Just when i cannot afford to this kind of stress until the max, my tears uncontrollable drop silently. It was a night, nobody realize that i was crying in that kind of atmosphere. It was so upset. I have totally lost my self confidence in studying.

More and more I am thinking...
Am I able to continue...
I am so tired of taking AS...
So regret that i was so stubborn at age 18...
Why must I insist to take AS...
How useless am I...

I am such a loser...

Loser Cheng

T~T